The safety of our children is a matter of concern for us all. While we feel quite able to maintain their physical safety we feel a great deal more uncertain about their safety online. This concern often stems from lack of knowledge and is fuelled by the sensationalist media. Parents are able to know where their children are in the physical world and act to maintain their safety, but in the world of MSN, MySpace and online gaming they may feel at a loss. Certainly there is cause for concern, but let’s examine the potential issues your child’s excursions into the World Wide Web might bring.
The most common problem that your child might find themselves in is accessing inappropriate material. Inappropriate material is often a euphemism for explicit sexual content but may also include portrayals of violence, drug use or adult themes. It is possible that children might click a link from a website and inadvertently reach such content. It is also possible that they might actually type phrases into a search engine. In the same way that you probably looked up rude words in the dictionary your children are just as likely to Google it.
Another danger comes from children accessing any of the many instant messaging services available for public use, most commonly Microsoft Messenger (MSN). Many websites also have instant messenger services accessed through a web page. Parents would be dismayed to allow their child to mix with people who they haven’t met, but this is exactly what a messenger service allows. Users generally have pseudonyms and it is impossible to know who someone really is. If children only talk to people that they know in the real world, and are approved of by their parents, then they are perfectly safe, but since anybody can use these services that isn’t guaranteed.
The most sensationalised danger online, however, is “cyber-bullying”. This phenomenon isn’t limited to the internet but also mobile phones. “Cyber-bullying” is an extension of its less technological form. To be clear bullying occurs when there is an audience, the bully gets a form of pleasure from it and there is an imbalance of power. Online it may consist of rumour spreading, name calling or exclusion through chat or on a web service like MySpace. For example a child may refer to another child’s physical appearance on their MySpace page, or they might take someone off their list of online friends. When combined with bullying in school it takes away the child’s last refuge i.e. the haven of home. If the victim is targeted by their mobile phone then it is even more pervasive and hurtful.
As a parent reading the above it is likely that you feel concerned that your child may fall victim to one of these online pitfalls or, perhaps, participate in “cyber-bullying”. However there are positive steps you can take.
- take an interest in what your child does online by asking questions and discussing their activities
- talk to your child about what to do if they access inappropriate material
- ensure they know never to use their surname, address, telephone number or personal email address online and to report to you anyone requesting it
- do not allow your child to post images of themselves online unless it is to a secure service approved by you
- locate computers in common areas of your home
- limit times that your child is allowed online
- supervision is invaluable – this doesn’t mean that you have to sit with your child but look over their shoulder every now and again
- if you are particularly concerned you can actively limit the websites your child is able to access by using software, the operating system itself or configuring your router
- check the internet history regularly
- ask your child to show your their instant messenger friends list
- create a separate user account on your computer for your child and retain the password yourself so that they can’t access the computer without your permission
- be aware that devices such as Xbox 360, Wii, Play Station 3, iPod Touch and mobile phones can also access the internet
While the above steps can make your child safer, ultimately there is no substitute for supervision. This means physical supervision. Software alone is not enough and the purchase of expensive packages while increasing safety will not provide total coverage.
Like many of the challenges that face children as they grow they must learn how to make decisions and take responsibility for their own actions. By supervising them, teaching them and trusting them your child will be safe online. Perhaps, if you’re lucky, they’ll teach you a thing or two.
