Where everybody knows your name…

I don’t drink alcohol and I find it a strange coincidence that two other skeptical bloggers in Perth, both of whom are in my blog roll, are also teetotallers. Just like me neither Kylie at Podblack nor Andy at Thinking is Real drink alcohol. Both talk about the pressure to conform in a society where consumption of alcohol is both a rite of passage and a way of life. To not drink in Australia is to be somehow less of a man.

For me the decision not to drink alcohol is quite easy. Since I suffer from chronic pancreatitis and alcohol is like pouring petrol on the fire, I choose not to inflict agonising pain on my body. When I was a teenager I had the odd drink, but I can honestly say I have never been drunk. Since I have always retained a state of sobriety I have had plenty of opportunities to observe those who do drink.

Everybody who I know likes a drink and I generally don’t have a problem with it since they all drink responsibly. They enjoy a couple of glasses of wine in the evening, the odd beer or some mixed spirits. I mention this because I want to be clear that I am not completely down on alcohol. However, alcohol is responsible for a good deal of personal misery and societal problems.

For many people a good night out is one where they drink to excess. As a teetotaller it puzzles me why somebody would spend well over $100 in an evening just to lose control of their decision making processes. I have no sympathy for people who get drunk and wake up in the morning with a self-inflicted hangover. Once a person becomes inebriated they are more likely to make decisions that are detrimental to their well-being – drink driving, unsafe sex or exposing themselves to personal risk. It seems that once some people start drinking they can’t stop until they can physically take no more.

Alcohol is implicated in a high proportion of incidents of domestic violence. According to the Australian Family and Domestic Violence Clearing House up to 80% of domestic violence cases involved alcohol. 40% of women in a 12 month period who suffered sexual or physical assault cited alcohol as a contributing factor. In fact in 1997 over 72,000 hospital admissions were attributable to high-rish drinking.

The costs to society of alcohol are enormous. The Department of Health and Ageing research shows that in 2004/5 the combined cost to Australia of alcohol misuse was over $10 billion. This takes into account reduction in the workforce and absenteeism ($3.5 billion), premature death and sickness ($1.5 billion), healthcare including ambulances and hospitals ($2 billion), car crashes ($2 billion) and crime ($1.4 billion).

For the same period the Department of Health estimated the cost of illicit drug use to be $8.2 billion. Not that I am advocating illicit drug use as an alternative to alcohol, but remember that alcohol is legal. I’ll leave drug laws for another time, but the amount of money spent in the war on drugs would form a large proportion of that bill.

Putting aside the mess that alcohol causes, I have a few other brief observations.

• When I go to the bar and order a Diet Coke and beer, the Coke always has a straw in it – the assumption being it is for a woman.
• When I am with a group of people who are drinking there comes a certain point where they have drunk enough that they are no longer able to engage in interesting conversation with any other than other drunks – it gets boring.
• People always assume that you drink and question why you aren’t drinking.
• You can sing karaoke straight sober – difference is you know how bad you are.
• Driving is cheaper than a taxi – unfortunately your friends no this too.
• Soft drink is cheaper than alcohol.
• I’ve never had a dodgy kebab at 2 am.
• Police officers at booze buses never believe you don’t drink and don’t think it’s funny when you call them “ocifer”.
• Alcohol smells really bad and lingers for a long time – I can tell when you have had a drink 10 minutes ago or 10 hours ago.
• No regrets in the morning.

It’s enough to drive a man to drink.